This year, cable companies managed to pull off an impressive
feat: A customer satisfaction survey ranked them the
lowest of any industry in America
, lower than airlines and health-insurance companies. Folks
) and the
) of this country to be about as appealing as staph infections and
And it's not without good reason. With inflated prices, mysterious
embarrassingly slow Internet speeds
, and a total lack of choice in provider, the unpopular cable
industry has pushed many customers to the welcoming shores of
) -- but not without providing
many horrific tales of bureaucracy and
to persuade others to finally cut the cord.
So what are cable companies to do when faced with an overwhelming
sense of disatisfaction? Lower their prices? Boost Web speeds?
Allow customers to choose their ISPs?
The National Cable and Telecommunications Association, the RIAA of
cable TV, launched a series of Web ads demonstrating how lost
customers would be without their coaxials and set-top boxes.
Unfortunately, each ad fails to portray a scenario that would
justify a cable subscription and instead supplants product and
logic for mutant bunnies and insect-human hybrids. (Seriously.)
The Hole Saga
," the ads feature settings like a desert bike ride, a deep-sea
expedition, and a forest campsite (not places where one can
normally plug into cable, incidentally) wherein characters face
deadly dilemmas that could "only" be remedied with a cable
subscription. The viewer then has the option to save the character
with a cable TV solution -- although two of the four solutions
actually involve online hotel ratings and video chat, two
technologies that can be achieved with a smartphone plan -- or
leave them to the sad, fatal fate of cord-cutting.
Aside from being nonsensical and completely ineffective, these Web
ads underscore not only how out of touch cable companies are with
the common customer, but how unwilling these multibillion-dollar
conglomerates are to providing better services and infrastructures
to boost customer satisfaction.
If anything, "The Hole Saga" merely reminds current cable
subscribers that their needs aren't being met, and that maybe
paying for 500+ channels they'll never watch isn't their wisest